| god doesn't always make the best god damn plans does he? |
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[22 Apr 2007|05:02pm] |
our eyes sit without tricks at four
lord, your tounges keep spinnin in our heads and we
spun on our own egos and spun, we
delve deeper and deeper into the chemicals in our brains and
life.
man, my man your man the fellow, MAN!
its all in your fellow man
the tangebilities of reality and the smoke and mirriros of the man,
simple
really,
just
enough money for
your head on the right side of cement and
bread in
your belly
and freedom
in your
hair
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[13 Apr 2007|06:00pm] |
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WHY DO I FEEL SO STRANGE
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[25 Feb 2007|01:08pm] |
HERES TO:
strides of prides in irish wind
there is no one else or any other place i'd rather be
my life is exactly where i want it
i'll spare the gory details
but god, its good
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[12 Feb 2007|10:21pm] |
it was a lazy sunday
and i saw the inside of a cell and the back of a paddy wagon
ARRESTED !
i'll leave you all guessing
whoever you all is
wales came back on the dancefloor
kryptonite he is
weak in the bloody knees
on saturdays i fight my way though 80 000 drunk footie fans to my doorstep
they are all walking the opposite way
oh an di dont have heat.
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[11 Feb 2007|11:38pm] |
FUCK
all of the fallowing
the 14th of ever month
year anneversaries of anything
make that anniversaries of anything
sex
love
dead boyfriends
anyone who says you shouldnt drink before noon or scream in public
i want to plunge headfirst into a cocaine fueled rage
that being unwise
i'll jsut plunge myself into a chocolate smoke filled abyss
FUCK IT!
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| Ashes |
[08 Feb 2007|10:52pm] |
I think of you as you are now
in peices
burnt black
and
scattered
scattered by the same wind
to the same sea
as your mother.
the seaside,
you took me there when things
were new and
the same wind
blew sand in our eyes and
the same sea
lapped at our toes, soaked through
drew in the sand with sticks laughed,
like children then,
made love on a
smooth stone
in the open
in the air
now all you are
is sand.
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[07 Feb 2007|07:20am] |
back back back back in dublin
ireland is the sexual attack/personal theft/ most unsafe coountry for women
IN THE WHOLE EU!
ahhh its good to be home
I've got a place to live and nine ciggerettes, fifteen quid and no job.
not many places are hiring , a sex shop though. cross your fingers,
discoveries: french men kiss your face and your neck and your hands..not just your lips
italians, have hilarious stories, play headbutting games, goodhair, stick flowers in your shirt and kiss you against doorframes.
with just a little soul and pretending, imagination, you too can play bongos with brazliians, french, and africans untill dawn.
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[21 Jan 2007|07:22pm] |
londond got in touch and brightened my mood. it always seems to hapen just before you run away, soon i'll be on the flipside on my side and alive again
rawwr.
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[13 Dec 2006|09:29pm] |
im tired of it already. I think i found out yesterday. jesus it was only yesterday. it feels like fucking weeks. im tired of death and im tired of dying nad crying when im not even thinking about it. i want to go out drinking and dancing nad living. its getting better and its getter better fast its got to get better fast and its all very strange. all overthe place. i thought i could be in control of my emotions not quite.
nothing in life is like this.
apart from sex i think that this is the single most isolated set of emotions that only one event can bring.
nothing in life can ever be nlike this. im so glad im home and my friends are so solid.
it feels like someone is pushing me along this course of emotions that icant control or see whats around the corner. i dont think ive cried this much since i left montreal. thank you for waiting till i got home at least. it was going to happe nfrom the beginning. you lived so many different lives. my parents are at your house right now with your dad eating chicken. this entire city reminds me of you. its so fucked up.
it sso fucked up.
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[13 Dec 2006|08:24pm] |
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it wasnt the drink. it wasnt the drink at all. your heart was actually too big. you died because your heart was actually too big from the get go. this was planned from the get go. i feel so bad. i feel so bad that i siad that i hated victoria when victoria gave me to you. i was so insensitive and you were so warm. now i dont feel angry i just feel sad. you said that my bad side was selfish and aarogant. we both ahd our bad sides. i love you. i still do. i feel like you're still around. i dont know where you are. i hope that you're safe and not scared. i dont know what i belive in and i dont know where that means that you are. or if what you believed in has anything to do with it. i cant believe it but i believed in you. i have the book your brother told me about. when i hear sunshine daydream i think i might break down.
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| god doesnt always make the best godamn plans |
[13 Dec 2006|09:58am] |
twentytwo.blue eyed bright eyed spirt. twentytwo/twelvetwelve dimebag darrel too.. would've thought that was tight. changed the way i spoke changed the way i saw the world. first love first greif. paint pens different emtions tagging like him. not so much a shock as a tragedy. ohm madapadem ohm.e verything just keeps spinning. two days home from five months and bam. bam bam bam bam bam. when my baby fell that night i dropped like a satellite. of al the times it could of happened it happened when i wa here. i got to see him one last time. you want to grasp for an easy solution. an answer, something to make you sigh and go "oh, ok". I have his pictures and his voice on my phoen and his emails in my fucking inbox.
i've been trying to soak it in and squeeze it out. i'm really enjoying myself in a strange sort of way, i feel like the world is my oyster right now.
and now. you're dead.i dont know what to feel from any minute to the next. fall from grace? fall from fucking grace!? this fucked up little island where everything seems os calm. youu loved victoria. you were victoria. i put you through the ringer on our last night together but itwasnt all that. we had times like we used to we fell into eachother like we used to what was on your mind when you died? jimmy hendrix, janis, jerry. you were just years behind from the minute i knew you you said you wouldnt make it to thirty. congratulations. you kill your passions or your passions kill you and if theres one thing you did with passion other than love it was drink. it sounds so vile i hate the word now. drink. your brother told me to read the tibetan book of living and dying. i wonder what you would have thoguht of it. you probably would have told me to read it too. i think you ahve the electric kool aid acid test. i dont know what to take back and what to leave in your orom. you ahve a book of my writing. i wnat a obok of yours. i'd like the journal i gave back to you. i want something that has you all over it. i hope your brother lets me have it. and my cds. so much of my life is intertwined with you. i thought of you every single day for hte best eleven months. songs and pictures and drawings. i showed you everything every inch every millimeter of myself and now there is this hole.like all the strings we had wrapping around eachother and curling into eachtoher have been severed at one end. im listening to the cd taht you bought me on saturday. on fucking saturday.
its all such a fucking dream. from minute to minute this doesnt seem real. the coroners office just called me. your brother doesnt want them to do one. i dont want them to do one. you wouldnt want them to do one. i dont understand why they have any kind of right over your body now that your spirit isnt in it. you hated the man. who the fuck cares about her good concience. in her fucking good conscience she cant let this go undone. we all know what it fucking was. what does it matter if it was positional asfixia from ahving too much to drink, your heart stopping from having too much to drink, or your body shutting down from having too much to drink. if there was anything that you were going to die from this was it and that was that and then dont need to fucking probe you with cold steel to find that out. i dont want any more fucking hugs and i dont want anymore swollen fucking eyes and crying at breakfast tables while it rains outside. i guess im finally getting to know your dad. i dont know why i feel so conflicted about calling your brother. i want your body back.
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[03 Sep 2005|12:02am] |
NEW CELL PHONE NUMBER YO. 858-8314..
LOOKS LIKE MY HOUSE!
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[23 Jul 2005|03:19am] |
oh yea,
if anyone is trying to call my cell phone, and it rings and rings, its not that i hate you, its broken, i'll let eveeryone know as soon as i get a new one. AND my house phone is "on the fritz" so.. i will dissapear into the world of the disconnnected.
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[07 Jul 2005|11:03am] |
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mono!
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[03 Jul 2005|05:18pm] |
camping was fantastic. exactly what i needed.
you remind me of a babe
what babe?
a babe with the power.
what power?
the power of voodoo
who do?
you do!
do what?
remind me of a babe
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[27 Jun 2005|05:33pm] |
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we'll not live like this.They will try to bury us with false manifestoes, inscribe us in wars against false enemies, but we'll sing songs about dying from loving the wrong owboy and gospel; our bodies bwill burn in effigies of promise. I swear.
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[24 Jun 2005|03:36pm] |
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it hit so much harder the second time.
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[21 Jun 2005|07:45am] |
You are |
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